It seems to be the trend of girls my age to gush over the tanned, muscle-laden hunks flanking the mural-sized posters of Abercrombie & Fitch, to melt at the feet of the bad boy James Dean clone who cuts class frequently due to hangovers. I have never been able to fall for these types of guys; I stare at the bronzed models at Abercrombie only to marvel at the air-brushing techniques used to hide the nasty veins that accompany muscles of that size, and I frequently dub the class-skippers as careless and irresponsible, myself being the geeky type that attends class with any ailment--even if it means almost fainting during a lecture. But, to each girl her own.
In high school, my eyes wandered not to the golden-haired sweet-talking jock with the basketball scholarship and hundreds of friends constantly at his side--no, no. My gaze was directed towards the outskirts of the class, to the boy constantly spurting witty remarks, shunned by the cool kids with detestful eye-rolls but receiving snickers from the rest of us--teacher included.
My type of guy boldly picks up the Kafka novel instead of the dumbells, frequents seedy record stores instead of the football games--unless, of course, he's in the marching band. His hair is often dissheveled and cut by his mom's friend, his complexion is pasty and sensitive, and his frame is lanky and awkward. He's the guy on the dance floor wiggling his arms like a frantic chicken, the guy staring at the bookshelf or the record collection at parties, the guy listening to Death Cab for Cutie and swooning over Natalie Portman instead of thumping Lil Wayne and making lewd comments about Jessica Alba. My guy may have failed gym class, but he surely excelled in AP physics.
So, to all of the Buddy Hollys out there, and to all of the Mary Tyler Moores, and to all of those who caught the Weezer reference: continue to be you. Flaunt those thick-rimmed glasses, strut in those pants that are a little too short, and sport that sweater vest with ambition. The world needs men with more substance in their brains and hearts than in their pecs and abs--more real in a world becoming faker by the minute. Who cares if you spend Saturday nights playing Dungeons and Dragons or harbor an unhealthy infatuation with Liv Tyler in Lord of the Rings?
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
My Definition of Atheism
Following the dictates of one's heart instead of those set forth by scripture. An atheist is not immoral; he/she is simply following the way of life established by the individual's self, not by the masses.
Love, Hate, and Apathy
love&HATE&apathy
Hate is not the opposite of love. They go hand-in-hand and involve the most passionate behavior. One can hate and love the same person, as I have felt before. The opposite of both love and hate is apathy, a completely emotionless and careless feeling, held towards another being or object. It invokes no passion, no feeling, no care--all elements found in both love and hate. Yes, one must care enough to expend the energy it takes to hate someone. Apathy, however, uses no energy; it is completely lethargic and void of any heated feeling.
Hate is not the opposite of love. They go hand-in-hand and involve the most passionate behavior. One can hate and love the same person, as I have felt before. The opposite of both love and hate is apathy, a completely emotionless and careless feeling, held towards another being or object. It invokes no passion, no feeling, no care--all elements found in both love and hate. Yes, one must care enough to expend the energy it takes to hate someone. Apathy, however, uses no energy; it is completely lethargic and void of any heated feeling.
Sonnet for my lit. class
The sun and love: is there a difference?
Each brings a warmth to my cheek, brushing it
With red, renewing my lost confidence,
Restoring fresh-faced youthfulness: sunkissed.
Devoid of either, days are cloudy and grey,
And sometimes streaked with the dripping of drops.
Yet with intense amounts of love or day,
I feel smothered; the enjoyment stops.
I never can tell when I've come too near;
A second Icarus--too high he flies.
I long to grasp and keep both, but still fear
Of tiring of them, losing those highs.
Naive to the ways of both: nothing learned--
My skin is fair, and easily burned.
Each brings a warmth to my cheek, brushing it
With red, renewing my lost confidence,
Restoring fresh-faced youthfulness: sunkissed.
Devoid of either, days are cloudy and grey,
And sometimes streaked with the dripping of drops.
Yet with intense amounts of love or day,
I feel smothered; the enjoyment stops.
I never can tell when I've come too near;
A second Icarus--too high he flies.
I long to grasp and keep both, but still fear
Of tiring of them, losing those highs.
Naive to the ways of both: nothing learned--
My skin is fair, and easily burned.
Human Nature
Dulled cars glide slowly along the grey tracks--
Machines on a conveyor belt
Or insects creeping
In front of the blurred houses,
Uniform in position like grim sentinels,
Lost in winter,
Fuzzy in the drizzling rain,
Unremarkable in comparison
To the rolling hills of brilliant green,
Folds of grass wrinkling like soft sheets
Glistening in the downpour--
Thriving with new life.
Spring.
Machines on a conveyor belt
Or insects creeping
In front of the blurred houses,
Uniform in position like grim sentinels,
Lost in winter,
Fuzzy in the drizzling rain,
Unremarkable in comparison
To the rolling hills of brilliant green,
Folds of grass wrinkling like soft sheets
Glistening in the downpour--
Thriving with new life.
Spring.
Out the Window
Out this window,
I see a brick wall.
Out that window,
I would see:
Blooming trees,
Colorful people,
Warm sun,
Shining cars,
Rolling blankets of mountain
Spotted with brushes of sage,
And cookie-cutter homes.
I would.
But the blinds are closed;
An opportunity for enjoyment
Shut behind them.
So I'm left with this window--
This opportunity--
And I stare at this brick wall.
But it is better than no window at all.
--Written in my college lit. class, staring out of the window like I did everyday
I see a brick wall.
Out that window,
I would see:
Blooming trees,
Colorful people,
Warm sun,
Shining cars,
Rolling blankets of mountain
Spotted with brushes of sage,
And cookie-cutter homes.
I would.
But the blinds are closed;
An opportunity for enjoyment
Shut behind them.
So I'm left with this window--
This opportunity--
And I stare at this brick wall.
But it is better than no window at all.
--Written in my college lit. class, staring out of the window like I did everyday
I was bored in English class...
The king is quite anxious--
He's received some new toys.
He calls out for his Army Men,
But happily accepts boys.
Fresh-faced husbands, proud young dads
Of newborn infants; sons of men
Who experienced a similar war--
Well, it's happening again.
The king is excited now:
A reason to attack!
A hit for a hit, tat for tat,
"They struck first, we must strike back!"
Tentative and small, the soldiers leave home,
Bound for unfriendly lands
And recieve multitudes of weapons
Made for a man, held by a child's hands.
All the while, the king sits back
In a furnished room filled with luscious smoke.
His cronies sneer with delight,
Brushing aside the toys they broke.
-- April 10, 2008
He's received some new toys.
He calls out for his Army Men,
But happily accepts boys.
Fresh-faced husbands, proud young dads
Of newborn infants; sons of men
Who experienced a similar war--
Well, it's happening again.
The king is excited now:
A reason to attack!
A hit for a hit, tat for tat,
"They struck first, we must strike back!"
Tentative and small, the soldiers leave home,
Bound for unfriendly lands
And recieve multitudes of weapons
Made for a man, held by a child's hands.
All the while, the king sits back
In a furnished room filled with luscious smoke.
His cronies sneer with delight,
Brushing aside the toys they broke.
-- April 10, 2008
Political Science for Dummies
All you need to know about political science using an awesome cow analogy.
Democrat
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.
Republican
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?
Socialist
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
Communist
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.
Capitalism, American Style
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
Bureaucracy, American Style
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one,
milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
American Corporation
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.
French Corporation
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.
Japanese Corporation
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
German Corporation
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
Italian Corporation
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
Russian Corporation
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
Taliban Corporation
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy
weapons.
Iraqi Corporation
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.
Polish Corporation
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
Belgian Corporation
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.
Florida Corporation
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.
California Corporation
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
Democrat
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.
Republican
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?
Socialist
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
Communist
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.
Capitalism, American Style
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
Bureaucracy, American Style
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one,
milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
American Corporation
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.
French Corporation
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.
Japanese Corporation
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
German Corporation
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
Italian Corporation
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
Russian Corporation
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
Taliban Corporation
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy
weapons.
Iraqi Corporation
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.
Polish Corporation
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
Belgian Corporation
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.
Florida Corporation
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.
California Corporation
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
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